Ever since "Elf" came out, I have made it my own little tradition that on the day after Thanksgiving, I will sit and watch said movie while wrapping Christmas presents. It's pretty awesome.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
The Weather Out Side is Frightful
The other morning when the dog woke me up at 6:30 a.m. to go out side, I happened to glance at the thermostat on the window before going out onto the porch in my pajamas. 22 degrees. I turned into an instant pop-sickle.
After taking a swan dive back into bed it made me think about all the people who have lost their homes or who can't afford to heat the ones they have. I couldn't even handle being outside in the cold for 2 minutes while the dog peed, I can't imagine living every day with out warm clothes or heat in my home.
So here is a list of all the place in our area that are accepting winter coat donations. Please dig through your closets and give up all the jackets that you said you'd maybe wear again some day. You know you're never going to and there are men, women and children that really do need them. Giving up one coat does make a difference. Please do what you can.
One Warm Coat:
www.onewarmcoat.org
Soldados de Jesus
Lowell
Type of coat needed: all
Frances Perkins Transitional
Worcester
Type of coat needed: all
Foundations
Worcester
Type of coat needed: all
Somerville Homeless Coalition FAMILY shelter
Somerville
Type of coat needed: families
Transition House Emergency Shelter
Cambridge
Type of coat needed: women; children
Haley House
Boston
Type of coat needed: men
Saint Francis House
Boston
Type of coat needed: men
Women's Lunch Place
Boston
Type of coat needed: women
Rosie's Place
Boston
Type of coat needed: women
Prudential Verani Realty Drop-Off Locations:
Bedford
165 South River Road
Phone: (603) 472-1010
Concord
87 South Main Street
Phone: (603) 224-0700
Epping
109 Route 125
Phone: (603) 679-5654
Exeter
81 Water Street
Phone: (603) 772-0600
Hampton
314 Lafayette Road
Phone: (603) 926-3648
Londonderry
One Verani Way
Phone: (603) 434-2377
Nashua
125 East Dunstable Road
Phone:(603) 888-4600
Newburyport - MA
23 Inn Street
Phone: (978) 465-0458
Portsmouth
207 Market Street
Phone: (603) 431-8977
Salem
236 North Broadway
Phone: (603) 893-7999
After taking a swan dive back into bed it made me think about all the people who have lost their homes or who can't afford to heat the ones they have. I couldn't even handle being outside in the cold for 2 minutes while the dog peed, I can't imagine living every day with out warm clothes or heat in my home.
So here is a list of all the place in our area that are accepting winter coat donations. Please dig through your closets and give up all the jackets that you said you'd maybe wear again some day. You know you're never going to and there are men, women and children that really do need them. Giving up one coat does make a difference. Please do what you can.
One Warm Coat:
www.onewarmcoat.org
Soldados de Jesus
Lowell
Type of coat needed: all
Frances Perkins Transitional
Worcester
Type of coat needed: all
Foundations
Worcester
Type of coat needed: all
Somerville Homeless Coalition FAMILY shelter
Somerville
Type of coat needed: families
Transition House Emergency Shelter
Cambridge
Type of coat needed: women; children
Haley House
Boston
Type of coat needed: men
Saint Francis House
Boston
Type of coat needed: men
Women's Lunch Place
Boston
Type of coat needed: women
Rosie's Place
Boston
Type of coat needed: women
Prudential Verani Realty Drop-Off Locations:
Bedford
165 South River Road
Phone: (603) 472-1010
Concord
87 South Main Street
Phone: (603) 224-0700
Epping
109 Route 125
Phone: (603) 679-5654
Exeter
81 Water Street
Phone: (603) 772-0600
Hampton
314 Lafayette Road
Phone: (603) 926-3648
Londonderry
One Verani Way
Phone: (603) 434-2377
Nashua
125 East Dunstable Road
Phone:(603) 888-4600
Newburyport - MA
23 Inn Street
Phone: (978) 465-0458
Portsmouth
207 Market Street
Phone: (603) 431-8977
Salem
236 North Broadway
Phone: (603) 893-7999
Friday, November 21, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
At The Request Of My Mother.
Upon careful consideration I have decided that since the joyous Christmas season is upon us and since I happen to be one of the lucky ones working on commission at the mall during this wonderful time of the year, that I'm going to chronicle all the happy events of my wondrous experience with the public for you all.
Episode 1: The Wonders of Walmart
The other day I regrettably made the decision that I would go to Walmart for my food shopping. Now normally I would NEVER do this but I needed a few more things other than food. So me and Mike pile into his work van and head out.
He drops me off out front and say he'll back in a little while, "I have to run to Home Depot quick." Another treasure in the Corporation Fun Box of Annoying Stores. But moving on...
I get through the store as quickly as possible because the best of the best happen to out today with me. (not) As usual there are 4 out of the 27 registers open and I have way too many things for that ridiculous self check out.
So I find what appears to be the shortest line and get in it. Little do I know that the devil was playing tricks on me. (Not hard to do because Walmart is his home base.)
Time check: I have now been in the store for almost an hour. I called Mike 20 min. ago to find out where he was and how he made out at Home Depot. "I have one more thing to get and I'll be right there!"
OK, I've now been standing in line for almost 7 min and I feel like I'm going to get sick. My throat feels like it's closing, I'm a little nauseous and coughing like I'm about to through a hair ball or something.
I want out of this store.
The lady who is currently being served at the register clearly has a little something wrong with her. Can't quite place my finger on it. But she's chatting up a storm and holding up the line. Now she's trying to pay (at Walmart) with a Banana Republic store credit card. This is Walmart. Not Banana Republic.
The frustration sets in.
"But I just used it the other day. I don't understand why it's not working."
I though the other woman in front of me was physically going to explode. Than the idiot behind the register goes, "Well why don't you let me try it over here. Maybe it will swipe for me." (by the way, these two ladies are having the slowest conversation in recorded history)
YOU CAN'T SWIPE IT OVER THERE!! IT'S A BANANA REPUBLIC CARD!!! IT ONLY WORKS IN THAT FRICKIN STORE!!!
A baby screams in the distance. Now I know that when ever I want children I'm just going to go to Walmart to remind myself that, No I really don't want children. *sigh*
So the lady decides she'd like to write a check instead. (OMG, get a bank card)
Other lady in front of me: "Now I remember why I never come to this store."
Ditto.
She finally writes her check and proceeds to stand there and continue her conversation with the check out woman who is more than happy to talk with her, I mean she's got the time, it's not like she's at work or anything; when her daughter comes running over and asks her mother where she's been! I've been waiting outside for 20 min! I was so worried!
Time Check: OMG it has been almost 20 min.
The lady in front of me starts shoving her things onto the counter to have them finally wrung through when the elderly woman who clearly has a memory problem notices she for got to pay for her cat littler!! Then the cashier offers to cancel out the next order to ring up the frickin cat littler.
This is where I'm going to die. Right here. In line at register #12.
Luckily the daughter was brighter then the employee (surprise, surprise) and offered to go to customer service. THANK YOU!
One down, one to go. Ok, we're making progress. Almost there! A little more! *screeeeeeeech!*
Pull the e-break. Now the lady who was venting at me about this horrible store would like to break up her order please.
"I'd like to pay for the food on my credit card, the birthday cake with cash and the clothes on my debit card please." Great, another 3 transactions.
Needless to say, 2 hours after being dropped off I was finally out of this hell hole. But not in the clear yet! Where was Mike!? Stuck on Amherst St trying to rescue me!
Now I have to pretend like I'm on my cell phone so the fire fighter ringing the bell next to the red collection bucket doesn't bother me. But I've been spotted! Don't make eye contact!
I am happy to anounce that this was my last willing adventure to Walmart for the season. Joy to the World.
Stay tuned. I'm sure there will be pleanty more where that came from considering how crazy people are :) Be well.
Episode 1: The Wonders of Walmart
The other day I regrettably made the decision that I would go to Walmart for my food shopping. Now normally I would NEVER do this but I needed a few more things other than food. So me and Mike pile into his work van and head out.
He drops me off out front and say he'll back in a little while, "I have to run to Home Depot quick." Another treasure in the Corporation Fun Box of Annoying Stores. But moving on...
I get through the store as quickly as possible because the best of the best happen to out today with me. (not) As usual there are 4 out of the 27 registers open and I have way too many things for that ridiculous self check out.
So I find what appears to be the shortest line and get in it. Little do I know that the devil was playing tricks on me. (Not hard to do because Walmart is his home base.)
Time check: I have now been in the store for almost an hour. I called Mike 20 min. ago to find out where he was and how he made out at Home Depot. "I have one more thing to get and I'll be right there!"
OK, I've now been standing in line for almost 7 min and I feel like I'm going to get sick. My throat feels like it's closing, I'm a little nauseous and coughing like I'm about to through a hair ball or something.
I want out of this store.
The lady who is currently being served at the register clearly has a little something wrong with her. Can't quite place my finger on it. But she's chatting up a storm and holding up the line. Now she's trying to pay (at Walmart) with a Banana Republic store credit card. This is Walmart. Not Banana Republic.
The frustration sets in.
"But I just used it the other day. I don't understand why it's not working."
I though the other woman in front of me was physically going to explode. Than the idiot behind the register goes, "Well why don't you let me try it over here. Maybe it will swipe for me." (by the way, these two ladies are having the slowest conversation in recorded history)
YOU CAN'T SWIPE IT OVER THERE!! IT'S A BANANA REPUBLIC CARD!!! IT ONLY WORKS IN THAT FRICKIN STORE!!!
A baby screams in the distance. Now I know that when ever I want children I'm just going to go to Walmart to remind myself that, No I really don't want children. *sigh*
So the lady decides she'd like to write a check instead. (OMG, get a bank card)
Other lady in front of me: "Now I remember why I never come to this store."
Ditto.
She finally writes her check and proceeds to stand there and continue her conversation with the check out woman who is more than happy to talk with her, I mean she's got the time, it's not like she's at work or anything; when her daughter comes running over and asks her mother where she's been! I've been waiting outside for 20 min! I was so worried!
Time Check: OMG it has been almost 20 min.
The lady in front of me starts shoving her things onto the counter to have them finally wrung through when the elderly woman who clearly has a memory problem notices she for got to pay for her cat littler!! Then the cashier offers to cancel out the next order to ring up the frickin cat littler.
This is where I'm going to die. Right here. In line at register #12.
Luckily the daughter was brighter then the employee (surprise, surprise) and offered to go to customer service. THANK YOU!
One down, one to go. Ok, we're making progress. Almost there! A little more! *screeeeeeeech!*
Pull the e-break. Now the lady who was venting at me about this horrible store would like to break up her order please.
"I'd like to pay for the food on my credit card, the birthday cake with cash and the clothes on my debit card please." Great, another 3 transactions.
Needless to say, 2 hours after being dropped off I was finally out of this hell hole. But not in the clear yet! Where was Mike!? Stuck on Amherst St trying to rescue me!
Now I have to pretend like I'm on my cell phone so the fire fighter ringing the bell next to the red collection bucket doesn't bother me. But I've been spotted! Don't make eye contact!
I am happy to anounce that this was my last willing adventure to Walmart for the season. Joy to the World.
Stay tuned. I'm sure there will be pleanty more where that came from considering how crazy people are :) Be well.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Red Necks. Read on...
You're An EXTREME Redneck When.....
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in frontof her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on howmuch gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a differentnight.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are"Gentlemen,start your engines. "
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
AND I saved my favorite for last
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in frontof her kids.
2. The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on howmuch gas is in it.
3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a differentnight.
5. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6. Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, guys, watch this."
7. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. Your junior prom offered day care.
10. You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are"Gentlemen,start your engines. "
11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
AND I saved my favorite for last
17. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
I'm The Only Gay Eskimo
Ok, this is just the funniest thing that I've ever seen.
Dating back to my early Jr. High days when Catherine would burn me funny CDs and me and Peter would sit in the back seat on the way the my Aunts house for Thankgiving, laughing our asses off while mom and dad rolled their eyes in the front seat.
This, my friends, is The Only Gay Eskimo Song. And seeing as how I'm going to be an Eskimo for Halloween I thought it fitting to post this and let you all in on the little things that light up my life.
I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bid9KsuxECA
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